Our Sunday Message

Love Demands A Love of Its Kind: John 21:15-17
Pastor Charlie Chilton
February 10, 2008
First Sunday in Lent

  Introduction: The title for today’s message is a life principle that Jim Ailor said was taught him when he was young and it greatly influenced his life. I think it is worthwhile, also, so I want to teach it to you today: Love demands a love of it’s kind.” Say it with me! (Repeat) It seems to me that this principle helps to clarify John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish but have everlasting life.”
   I. Like begets like. Now this is a principle that I learned before I learned Jim’s principle but I learned that it is not always true. Let me describe three situations.
    Situation 1: A freshman boy falls in love with a girl. The first day of school, he is totally mesmerized by her. He stares at her in class. He can’t take his eyes off her. He does everything he can to get her to notice him and he tries desparately to impress her. He accidentally bumps into her because he knows where she is going all the time. She finally figures it out one day as he is carrying her books to class and she says, “Charlie, I just love you. You are so nice and polite and kind. You are fun to talk to. In fact, I can talk to you about everything. I think of you as a brother.” He hates it! That was not want he wanted to hear. Principle
    Situation 2: A teenage boy is loved by his father. Since he was an infant, he has always thought of him before everything. He loves him so much that he works overtime as much as possible so he can buy his son expensive Nikes and electronic games. He started saving early so he could buy his son a new sports car for his 16th birthday. The boy begins to get in trouble at school. His grades are bad. Notes come home from the teachers and the guidance counselor. The father says, “That’s okay, he’s my son, he is going to be allright.” Soon the son begins to close his father out, doesn’t come home many nights because he is hanging out with his gang. The father is heartbroken and doesn’t know what he did wrong. Principle
    Situation 3: A woman loves her husband. She fell in love with him when she was a junior in high school and he was a star football player. They went to the senior prom together. He went away to college and they got married as soon as he graduated. This was the biggest day of her life. He finished college and got a good job. He soon proved his worth to his employer. She is so grateful, she can’t do enough for him. She waits on him when he comes home. She cooks his favorite dishes, he only has to mention something once and she does it. Her love grows and grows. Meanwhile, he is getting more and more involved in his work. Promotions come easily. He comes home tired and after dinner he reads the paper, then immerses himself in the television until he goes to his home office and works on the internet. He doesn’t ever hit her, he just ignores her. Her nerves are shot and she has a long list of medications that she has to take to survive. This was not the dream life that she imagined. Principle
   II. What can I say after I say, “I love you?”
  In the light of our principle, let me share with you three other scenarios.
   Situation 1: I love butterbeans. I was raised on a farm and we had a large garden. Always plenty of butterbeans! Many people know of my love for butterbeans. I once shared with a congregation at a Monday night revival service where I was the evangelist my great love for butterbeans. Every night that week for dinner the families of the church served me butterbeans.
    Situation 2: I love my house. It is not big. It is not fancy. It is just right for Fay and me. It is a small bungalow; no basement or second floor. It is nestled back on a wooded lot. Its paid for and it just suits our needs. Sometimes when the children or grandchildren come home we talk about how it might be nicer to have more room but basically, it suits us, and we feel good about it.
    Situation 3: I love Fay. I first met her in early September 1955. She was really cute, and I was fascinated by her. She had red hair and I had never dated a red-head. She was a Christian. She was headed for ministry. It didn’t take me long to decide that she was the one for me. But I was afraid of her. I just knew that she would reject my feelings if I made them known. I saw her every afternoon at evening worship sponsored by the BSU at the University of Richmond. I fell deeply in love with her and married her the following Christmas, 1956.
  Now, question: Do I think the same of butterbeans, my house, and Fay? In English it sounds the same. But in the original Greek of the New Testament, they use three different words and translate them all as love in English. There is eros, which is an all-taking love; there is phileo, which a give and take kind of love. There is agape, which is an all-giving love. Principle
  Now let’s look at the last set of situations in light of these definitions:
    Situation 1: What is my relationship with butterbeans? It is totally eros; I get all the benefit, they get nothing out of it.
    Situation 2: What is my relationship with my house? I paint it from time to time. I clean the windows, I take care of the yard. I installed some new storm windows. It is a give and take relationship; its like they say, “I scratch your back and you scratch mine.” I do things for the house and the house provides me shelter.
    Situation 3: What is my relationship with Fay? I wish I could say that the promise I made on December 22, 1956 was totally agape and I have lived with an agape love for her. There have been some rare moments when I loved her agape, but there have been more times of eros and phileo that I care to admit. Is it enough to say “I love you” and what do I mean when I say “I love you” and am I believeable in every time I use the words. Principle
   III. A love of its kind:
  Jesus wants us to clarify our stand! The dialogue that we read earlier is basically like this: Jesus says to Peter, “Do you love me in a totally giving kind of Way?” Peter replies, “No. I love you in a give and take kind of way.” So Jesus asks again, “Do you love me in a selfless total giving kind of way?” And again Peter says, “I love you in a give and take kind of way.” So then Jesus asks, “Do you totally love me in a give and take kind of way?” And Peter is offended because he feels that Jesus is putting him on the spot. Why does Jesus ask him? Principle
  God is agape, Jesus is agape, the Holy Spirit is agape! Always unselfish. Always wanting what is best for us. When we don’t respond in kind, we break His heart. He is totally human and totally God! Why? Principle
  How should we love the Lord? What kind of love should we have toward Jesus?
  Eros? Love Him as Savior only but not as Lord? Phileo? Love Him on a trade-off basis, love Him as long as He is giving me all I want, make a deal with Him that I will love Him as long as there is material evidence that He loves me? Agape? Love Him as the Lord and Master of my life and include Him in every part of my life and keep everything under His control. As Paul said in Romans 10:10 “If you confess with your mouth ‘Jesus is Lord’ while believing in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Principle
  Conclusion:
  Is He anything to you? Is He everything to you? Or is he somewhere in between? Unless He is everything, He won’t be anything. Unless He is allowed to be Lord of all, He won’t be Lord at all. Our selfish love or our give and take kind of love needs to give way to agape, the total surrender kind of love. That’s what we call “sacrificial love.” Love that hurts if necessary. Love that publicly identifies with Christ. Love that will cost me something. I have such a great debt of gratitude that I want to give Him control of my life. Principle
  “When I survey the wondrous cross…………
  See from his head, his hands and feet……….
  Were the whole realm of nature mine……….
  Love will be on the tongues of many people this week, what will we mean when we say it?